Banned at TSA: Crazy Items Travelers Tried to Fly With

One of the challenges of air travel in recent years has been figuring out what we can, and cannot, take in our bags. The Transportation Safety Administration doesn’t have an easy job, as anyone who has gone through airport security can tell you, and sometimes we travelers don’t make their job any easier. We’ve probably all innocently run afoul of regulations that prohibit bringing large containers of liquids through security, and maybe we’ve had an issue or two with other things, too.

            But I’m betting—hoping—that none of you have ever tried to bring things like these through the security lines. (Actual cases of TSA confiscations.)

·         Replica improvised explosive device (IED), O’Hare International, Chicago. Even if it’s not real, replica or inert explosives are not allowed, at all, in carry-on or checked bags. TSA at O’Hare had to call in the Chicago Police Bomb Squad to check out what appeared to be real sticks of dynamite attached to a timer.

·         Firearm concealed in a raw chicken, Ft. Lauderdale-Hollywood International. This was a personal “fowl” indeed. The traveler had stuffed the bird with a handgun. Firearms can be brought aboard in checked bags, but strict protocols have to be followed. Putting a gun inside a dead bird isn’t on the list.

·         Fentanyl in candy packaging, Los Angeles International. Security at LAX discovered fentanyl pills—12,000 of them—in a carry-on bag packaged in popular candy boxes.

·         Gun-shaped toilet paper holder, Newark Liberty International. An actual toilet paper holder shaped like a pistol? This one didn’t have a roll of TP, but replica weapons of any kind aren’t allowed in a carry-on.

·         Bag of live eels, Miami International. Discovered in a passenger’s checked bag, this person was trying to transport 163 marine tropical fish and 22 invertebrates to Venezuela. The items were surrendered to the US Fish & Wildlife Service.

·         Sharpie shiv, Huntsville International. The passenger had fashioned a makeshift fiberglass knife in the shape of a Sharpie pen and had it in their carry-on.

·         Call of Duty replica monkey bomb, Boston Logan. Right out of the popular video game, three sticks of fake TNT strapped to the back of a mechanical monkey. Again, replica weapons or explosives aren’t allowed.

·         Moose poop, Juneau International. Yes, a large bag of moose droppings that the passenger was taking home from their Alaska adventure. No exact reason was apparently provided. TSA doesn’t have a policy specifically targeting animal excrement, but airlines might not appreciate such a smelly container in their cabins.

·         Live turtle in the passenger’s pants, Spokane International. The turtle was discovered when the passenger walked through the screening portal. Pets can be brought aboard, but it’s wise to check the airline’s regulations first.

·         Guns & ammo heels and belt, Baltimore-Washington International. This person had a pair of lady’s high-heeled platform shoes that actually sported replica pistols for heels and ammo belts around the platforms, plus a pair of wristbands resembling ammo belts. Replicas of firearms and ammunition are prohibited in carry-on bags, but these could’ve been transported in a checked bag.

·         Birds concealed under clothes, Los Angeles International. Two live birds were discovered during a passenger pat-down prompted by the traveler’s bulky clothing. The birds were wrapped in socks and taped to the leg and chest of the woman, who was traveling to China. US Fish & Wildlife officers arrested her on suspicion of smuggling and exporting an endangered species out of the country.

·         Snakes, Miami International. Right out of the movies, a passenger was carrying a pair of small but very much alive snakes in his pants. Again, follow regulations for transporting pets.

·         Seahorses in a liquor bottle, Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County. An oversized bottle of liquor was detected in a carry-on. That alone is a prohibited item, but so were the five dead endangered seahorses that were inside the bottle, which was confiscated by Michigan Fish & Game officers.

·         Dead baby shark in a jar, Syracuse Hancock International. It was determined that the liquid in the bottle wasn’t water but a chemical preservative. Regulations do allow for transporting a live fish on a plane, as long as it’s swimming in water. Separate screening required.

·         Chainsaw, Albany International. TSA wasn’t really sure why this passenger tried to bring a chainsaw through the checkpoint, but they didn’t allow it.

·         Lipstick knife, Nashville International. Hidden inside a lipstick container, the knife was discovered in a carry-on bag. No matter the size, knives are not permitted in carry-ons.

·         Replica M18 claymore mine, Dulles International. A claymore mine is a deadly anti-personnel explosive, and even fake claymores aren’t allowed in either carry-ons or checked bags.

·         Steampunk gas mask, Miami International. We saved the best for last. Pictured above, this gas mask didn’t pass muster due to the replica bullets.

That’s quite a list! Hopefully, you didn’t see any of them and say, “Darn it, I was going to bring one of those!” Give us a call, and we’ll let you know if your particular exotic items might need to be left home.

 Sue Tindell

 Traditional cruising today, nuclear yachts tomorrow?

If you’ve cruised the Mediterranean, you’ve probably seen them tied up at the port: the superyacht. We saw one when we came ashore on Malta during our family Med cruise last month. A quick Google search revealed that this one was owned by the family of a late Mexican industrialist. Some years ago, Dave and I saw one at an Italian port that was reportedly owned by Tony Blair, former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

            Superyachts are more than just plain old yachts, of course. They’re big (78 feet or more long), with professional crews and high-end amenities, such as state-of-the-art technology, opulent interiors and extensive recreational facilities. As you might guess, they’re not cheap: Boat International’s website has several for sale, with prices starting around $8 million.

            These are not like the pontoons we see cruising the lakes of northwest Wisconsin, for sure.

            There have been some interesting developments in superyacht technology, relating to their engines. For a hundred years or so, yachts were powered by oil-fired engines, like larger passenger ships. Recent decades have seen the increased use of hydrogen fuel-cells, which are cleaner and more efficient than traditional diesel engines. But designers aren’t stopping there. The first nuclear-powered superyacht will be sailing over the horizon soon.

            The first nuclear-powered vessel was a U.S. Navy submarine, USS Nautilus, launched in 1954. It became the first vessel to sail under the Arctic ice cap over the North Pole a few years later. Decommissioned in 1980, Nautilus—named after the fictional submarine in Jules Verne’s 1870 novel 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea—paved the way for nuclear-powered warships. Today, our Navy has more than 80 such vessels, including 11 aircraft carriers. But the use of nuclear power on civilian ships has so far been limited to a handful of research vessels. High costs, tight regulations and safety fears have scared away potential investors and shipbuilders…until now.

            The Dutch superyacht builder Feadship has joined the Nuclear Energy Maritime Organization (NEMO), a consortium of companies “dedicated to advancing fair and effective regulations for the deployment, operation and decommissioning of floating nuclear power.” (In the Verne novel, the inventor and captain of the electric-powered submarine was named Nemo.) Feadship announced in 2020 that it was exploring technology that would lead to “carbon-neutral yachting” and has now revealed a concept for a nuclear-powered ship called Relativity.

            The company has been on the cutting edge of yacht tech for a while. Last year, it designed and built a 390-foot yacht named Breakthrough, the first superyacht to be powered entirely by hydrogen. The original owner was billionaire Bill Gates, who never took possession; he has it on the market for $645 million.

            The technology is certainly ready to go, considering that the Navy has been sailing nuclear vessels for more than 70 years. What’s holding everything up? Lloyd’s Register says it comes down to “public perception and politics.” Issues like robust safeguards and disposal of spent fuel, acceptable radiation dose limits for crew and environmental issues are challenges, too. “Will countries allow nuclear-powered yachts into their territorial waters, allow them to berth in their marinas, allow them to be serviced and refueled?” While these are legitimate concerns, it’s not hard to imagine protestors lining the docks holding signs that reference Three Mile Island and Chernobyl.

            Despite those obstacles, work is proceeding on nuclear propulsion systems for yachts, and potential buyers are lining up. These would have to be large ships, 350-footers or longer, but we should see them sailing by 2030. The fact that these are zero-emission propulsion systems means that shipbuilders are taking a “when, not if” attitude toward nuclear power. The Lloyd’s report put it this way: “The potential benefits of extended range, high power output, environmental sustainability, and technological prestige make nuclear-powered yachts an intriguing and possibly transformative project. The maritime industry may very well enter a new era where yachts are powered by the boundless energy of the atom.”

            It’s always a “wow” moment when science fiction becomes reality. While you might be able to sail on a nuclear yacht soon (if you know the right people), conventional cruise ships are waiting for you right now. We’re already making reservations for 2027 sailings, so don’t wait to book yours. Give us a call!

Sue Tindell

Pack smart, Travel happy 

You’ve met with us at our office, finalized your itinerary, verified all your documents, reserved your dog at the kennel, confirmed that your neighbor will water your flowers. You’re all set for vacation, except for the one chore everybody dreads:

Packing.

Maybe it’s a short trip and you might get by with a carryon. Or a carryon and one checked bag will do. That’s usually the case, but not always; on our recent family cruise of the Mediterranean, my sister-in-law brought along two checked bags and one carryon that was almost as large as she was. (She’s a petite lady.) Regardless of where we’re going, packing is always a challenge. Travel writer Hayley Spencer of The Guardian recently wrote about 12 travel packing “hacks” that can save us space and money.

· Ziplock bags. Cheap and flexible, Ziplock bags have different sizes so you can find one (or more) that’ll do the job. They’ll adapt to whatever space you have available: they can be rolled, squished and used inside one another to save space.

· Waterproof tote. For the beach or the pool, one of these is indispensable. It’ll keep everything dry and sand-free, but they’re also handy if you’re going someplace where liquids could get spilled, such as a coffee shop. On a flight, it’s a nifty carryon that can be stored under the seat.

· Packable yoga mat. If you like to practice yoga, you’ll want to do it on your trip, but you’re not quite sure about the mats in the studio at the resort or on the ship. Yoga Design Lab has a game-changing packable yoga mat. Made from recycled plastic bottles, it can be folded like a towel for easier packing.

· Thin layers. If it’s cold where you’re going, technical coats and jackets do the job without taking up much space. Some are made from down, which flattens and is very lightweight. You can wear it on the plane comfortably, allowing extra space in your bag or carryon.

· Roll your clothes and use a backpack. A backpack can be very convenient if you’re visiting an urban area where you will be hopping on and off public transit. Rolling and separating clothing into fabric tote bags can save a lot of space in your suitcase.

· Color code your clothes. Pack colors and tones that pair well together, so you can mix and match while sometimes wearing the same pair of jeans or shorts on multiple occasions. Also, buy toiletries at your destination.

· Wear sports gear on the plane. Heading somewhere for a ski weekend? It’s possible to pack what you’ll need within your cabin allowance. Wear your ski jacket and beanie, along with waterproof shoes with good grip. Rent your skis and boots at the site rather than packing them. Clip your helmet to your carryon.

· Travel-sized beauty. Buying toiletries at your destination saves packing space at the front end, although it might not for your return. If you do bring your toiletries, streamline them. Use products that double up and skip some products like blush and concealer. If you’re traveling to a hot destination, you’ll use less makeup anyway. Decant as much of your skincare liquids as you can into reusable 100ml bottles that you can bring onboard in your carryon.

· Minimize the tech. If you’re traveling with the family these days, it means everybody wants to bring their own devices, sometimes two or even three apiece (phone, tablet, laptop). Try to limit everyone to one device and share charging cables. Yes, cables don’t take up a lot of room, but they can get in the way.

· Clothes that look good crinkled. Two words: linen separates. A shirt and trousers in the same color are lightweight, pack well and can be styled in multiple ways. Pair them with classic foundational pieces, like a tee, white shirt, jeans, Birkenstock clogs and a cardigan, and you’re set for the trip.

· The wear-everywhere shoe. Footwear can be a real challenge, both because they take up a lot of room in the suitcase and we want to take more than we really need. (And yes, this includes men!) A single comfortable, neutral pair should do the job and will definitely save a lot of space. Okay, if you need casual shoes and also something for formal wear, that’s two pair. Three, if you insist.

· Travel-friendly formal wear. Attending a wedding, a black-tie dinner, or a visit to a luxury restaurant? Men should pay special attention here. Pack items that can fit the bill for your event but can easily pack, such as foldable sunglasses, travel-friendly shirts (stretch- and wrinkle-resistant), and pack them with wire hangers to keep their shape. Avoid using garment bags for your suits, even if it’s a tuxedo. And if you need a tux, why not rent one at the destination?

Packing can be an annoying necessity, but why not make it a challenge? And remember, the more space you have on the outbound flight, the more space you’ll have for things to bring home! Give us a call, and we’ll send you packing!

Sue Tindell

 Beyond the Video: The Crew’s Job

    

As we settled into our seats on our Delta flight home from Amsterdam a few weeks ago, our TV screens showed the mandatory safety video. Remember the days when flight attendants would stand throughout the cabin and demonstrate the safety regulations personally? Now, it’s all on video, except for smaller, regional flights.

            Every airline tries to make their safety video a little different from their competitors’. Delta, which is celebrating its 100^th anniversary this year, does it nicely, with flight attendants and passengers dressed in the uniforms and clothing styles of various eras, from the 1920s to the ‘90s. (We got a kick out of the 10-year-old kid impersonating Michael Jackson, moonwalking down the aisle.) A few months ago, we were impressed by Air New Zealand’s video, with Hollywood-level production values and celebrity guests. British Airways uses videos that cleverly parody popular UK period dramas. You can see some of the best here: Best Airline Safety Videos.

            Air New Zealand started this creative trend about 16 years ago, with its video featuring cabin crew and flight attendants who were wearing uniforms—but not! They were all body-painted. (You’ll have to look that one up yourself.)

            The flight attendants in these videos all seem to be having a great time, and we have to say that on all the flights we’ve been on, it’s hard to remember an instance of rudeness or incompetence by a flight attendant. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t widely held misconceptions about the profession. Yes, they travel all over the world, visiting the best beaches and exotic night spots (sometimes), but it’s not an easy job by any means. The travel site islands.com recently listed the 11 biggest misconceptions about the flight attendant profession:

·         It’s easy to get hired. All you need are good people skills, right? Not really. Fewer than 5% of applicants get hired. It’s tougher to get one of these jobs at a major airline than it is to get into an Ivy League college. There are physical requirements (and they have nothing to do with personal beauty). Height is one of them; KLM requires applicants to be between 5’2” and 6’2” tall. Applicants must pass a rigorous interview process and then undergo weeks of training once they’re hired.

·         Their primary job is to serve passengers. In the post-WW2 commercial air travel boom, the term “trolley dolly” was applied to flight attendants, because all they seemed to do was push the “trolleys” down the aisle to serve drinks and meals. Actually, the primary job of a flight attendant is safety, the passengers’ and the crew’s. They’re trained to open doors and understand the layouts of aircraft so they can execute evacuations in under 90 seconds. Those are worst-case scenarios and very rare, of course, but there are more common safety issues like medical emergencies, fires and, yes, unruly passengers.

·         They’re paid during delays. They don’t punch a time clock, and their hours can vary wildly based on the flight’s itinerary. Flight attendants have pay rates that vary based on whether or not the flight is on schedule. If the plane is grounded for whatever reason, they still get paid, but at a much lower rate.

·         They’re paid for boarding and deplaning. Flight attendants are paid their full rate only when the plane door closes and everyone is on board. So, for all the time they spend helping you to your seat, stowing your carryon overhead and otherwise making sure you and your companions are comfortable, they’re being paid less than their prime rate. Airlines have started to re-examine this arrangement; in 2022, Delta began awarding boarding pay, although it’s still less than the full rate.

·         They’re required to help with your bags. Flight attendants are required to help passengers organize their bags but not lift them into the overhead bins. It’s assumed that passengers will not bring bags aboard that are too heavy for them to handle—but of course, many do. Attendants might work as many as four flights a day, which is four sessions of helping boarding passengers with their bags, and that’s a lot of bags. The risk of injury is high. Many airlines won’t offer paid leave if an attendant is injured lifting a bag.

·         They all make the same amount of money. Like almost every profession, flight attendant pay varies, based on seniority and the size of the airline. Entry-level attendants at smaller airlines can make as low as $25,000/year, while a senior attendant at a major carrier can earn a salary into six figures. United reportedly starts its attendants at about $29/hour. If your flight has four attendants, chances are each of them are making a different level of salary.

·         They fly only on specific routes. Unlike crews on trains, airline flight attendants are always working different routes. “What route do you fly?” is the most common question they ask each other when they meet at airports. Every day is different. Speakers of a second language are likely to be assigned to certain sectors where those skills can be useful. Seniority plays a role; those who’ve been with the airline the longest get their first pick of available trips. Attendants will fly only on planes they’ve been trained on, so this necessarily limits routes for less experienced crew.

·         Layovers are always exciting. International routes, which most travelers would presume include the types of layovers we see in the movies, aren’t as glamorous as we might think. Attendants will use layovers for rest and recuperation. They might have flown across multiple time zones, worked throughout the night, and might be headed home in a day or two. They need to be fully recharged for the return flight, so late-night clubbing and long days at the beach are rare.

·         They’re all single women without children. In the early years of commercial flights, attendants, known as “stewards,” were all men. The first woman wasn’t hired until 1930. She was Ellen Church, 25, a registered nurse and pilot from Iowa, hired by Boeing Air Transport, which called her and the women who followed “sky girls.” They had to be single, 25 or younger, weight less than 115 pounds and be no taller than 5’4”. They might have to assist in fueling the aircraft and pushing it into the hangar. Church’s first flight was San Francisco to Chicago, a 20-hour haul with 13 stops, for 14 passengers. Today, about 85% of flight attendants are women, and many of them have children.

·         They aren’t well-educated. On the contrary: CareerExplorer data shows that 70% of flight attendants have some post-secondary education. Degrees in hospitality, nursing, business and even the law are common.

·         They can call ahead to hold a plane for your connection. No, they can’t keep a plane waiting at the gate if you’re late. The most they can do is help you look up your connecting flight to see how far away your gate will be or find out if it’s delayed. There’s a reason they’re called flight attendants; their purview is the flight on which they’re working.

So, the world of flight attendants isn’t quite what we have typically seen from the movies and TV, is it? Well, the movies tend to glamorize just about every profession…although I’m still waiting for a film featuring a travel agent as the star! Ready to see your next airline safety video? Give us a call!