Banned at TSA: Crazy Items Travelers Tried to Fly With

One of the challenges of air travel in recent years has been figuring out what we can, and cannot, take in our bags. The Transportation Safety Administration doesn’t have an easy job, as anyone who has gone through airport security can tell you, and sometimes we travelers don’t make their job any easier. We’ve probably all innocently run afoul of regulations that prohibit bringing large containers of liquids through security, and maybe we’ve had an issue or two with other things, too.

            But I’m betting—hoping—that none of you have ever tried to bring things like these through the security lines. (Actual cases of TSA confiscations.)

·         Replica improvised explosive device (IED), O’Hare International, Chicago. Even if it’s not real, replica or inert explosives are not allowed, at all, in carry-on or checked bags. TSA at O’Hare had to call in the Chicago Police Bomb Squad to check out what appeared to be real sticks of dynamite attached to a timer.

·         Firearm concealed in a raw chicken, Ft. Lauderdale-Hollywood International. This was a personal “fowl” indeed. The traveler had stuffed the bird with a handgun. Firearms can be brought aboard in checked bags, but strict protocols have to be followed. Putting a gun inside a dead bird isn’t on the list.

·         Fentanyl in candy packaging, Los Angeles International. Security at LAX discovered fentanyl pills—12,000 of them—in a carry-on bag packaged in popular candy boxes.

·         Gun-shaped toilet paper holder, Newark Liberty International. An actual toilet paper holder shaped like a pistol? This one didn’t have a roll of TP, but replica weapons of any kind aren’t allowed in a carry-on.

·         Bag of live eels, Miami International. Discovered in a passenger’s checked bag, this person was trying to transport 163 marine tropical fish and 22 invertebrates to Venezuela. The items were surrendered to the US Fish & Wildlife Service.

·         Sharpie shiv, Huntsville International. The passenger had fashioned a makeshift fiberglass knife in the shape of a Sharpie pen and had it in their carry-on.

·         Call of Duty replica monkey bomb, Boston Logan. Right out of the popular video game, three sticks of fake TNT strapped to the back of a mechanical monkey. Again, replica weapons or explosives aren’t allowed.

·         Moose poop, Juneau International. Yes, a large bag of moose droppings that the passenger was taking home from their Alaska adventure. No exact reason was apparently provided. TSA doesn’t have a policy specifically targeting animal excrement, but airlines might not appreciate such a smelly container in their cabins.

·         Live turtle in the passenger’s pants, Spokane International. The turtle was discovered when the passenger walked through the screening portal. Pets can be brought aboard, but it’s wise to check the airline’s regulations first.

·         Guns & ammo heels and belt, Baltimore-Washington International. This person had a pair of lady’s high-heeled platform shoes that actually sported replica pistols for heels and ammo belts around the platforms, plus a pair of wristbands resembling ammo belts. Replicas of firearms and ammunition are prohibited in carry-on bags, but these could’ve been transported in a checked bag.

·         Birds concealed under clothes, Los Angeles International. Two live birds were discovered during a passenger pat-down prompted by the traveler’s bulky clothing. The birds were wrapped in socks and taped to the leg and chest of the woman, who was traveling to China. US Fish & Wildlife officers arrested her on suspicion of smuggling and exporting an endangered species out of the country.

·         Snakes, Miami International. Right out of the movies, a passenger was carrying a pair of small but very much alive snakes in his pants. Again, follow regulations for transporting pets.

·         Seahorses in a liquor bottle, Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County. An oversized bottle of liquor was detected in a carry-on. That alone is a prohibited item, but so were the five dead endangered seahorses that were inside the bottle, which was confiscated by Michigan Fish & Game officers.

·         Dead baby shark in a jar, Syracuse Hancock International. It was determined that the liquid in the bottle wasn’t water but a chemical preservative. Regulations do allow for transporting a live fish on a plane, as long as it’s swimming in water. Separate screening required.

·         Chainsaw, Albany International. TSA wasn’t really sure why this passenger tried to bring a chainsaw through the checkpoint, but they didn’t allow it.

·         Lipstick knife, Nashville International. Hidden inside a lipstick container, the knife was discovered in a carry-on bag. No matter the size, knives are not permitted in carry-ons.

·         Replica M18 claymore mine, Dulles International. A claymore mine is a deadly anti-personnel explosive, and even fake claymores aren’t allowed in either carry-ons or checked bags.

·         Steampunk gas mask, Miami International. We saved the best for last. Pictured above, this gas mask didn’t pass muster due to the replica bullets.

That’s quite a list! Hopefully, you didn’t see any of them and say, “Darn it, I was going to bring one of those!” Give us a call, and we’ll let you know if your particular exotic items might need to be left home.

 Sue Tindell